Pirtsper**se

Õhtust.

Tänase päeva kohta räägin Teile loo oma Selveris käigust. Enne pean aga natuke oma emast rääkima. Pärast saate aru miks.

Need, kes minu tunnevad, teavad ka seda, et tal on mingi seletamatu pihiema-tahanvägaomaelulugurääkida-mure kurta magnet küljes. Teiste vaikselt ära kuulamise võime ei ole ju iseenesest üldse paha omadus aga kui elu saadab teele igasuguseid veidrikke, kes kõik südamelt kohe välja paiskavad, valimata mida ja mis koguses, siis võib-olla see ikkagi ei ole nii hea omadus. Vähemalt saab kõvasti naerda, vähemalt tagant järgi sellele mõeldes.

Nii Selveri loo juurde tagasi minnes, käisin mina siis täna omale lõunat ostmas Selveris. Sellel hetkel oli pood peaaegu täiesti tühi ja mina sammusin sooja toidu leti poole. Enne veel kui ma jõudsin üldse uurima hakata mida pakutakse, hüüdis mulle üle leti üks tumedapäine nooremat sorti naisterahvas : „Tereee, mis ma Sulle annan? „. Ei jõudnud ma esialgu ei öh ega möh öelda, aga siis jäi silma mulle kana, mis tundus enam vähem söödav olevat. Jama oli aga selles, et kana oli valmistatud kahte moodi, küsisin mina siis viisakalt, et milles nende erinevus seisneb? Preili ütles, et“ tema eriti ei tea, aga tundub et üks on tehtud ürtidega ja teine vähe vürtsikam. Okei. Valisin mina siis selle vürtsikama ja jäin ootele, millal preili selle mulle kaasa pakib. Samal ajal mu kana kotti toppides pääsesid preili häälepaelad valla ja tema hakkas seletama sellest, kuidas kana kindlasti ei tohi küüslauguga olla kuna tema on hirmus pirtsPERSE ja ei söö küüslauku. Jah ta ütles minu kana kotti toppides pirtsPERSE!! PERSE!Pühamüristus! On teisipäeva hommik, tahan kana ja saan oma kana aga perse antakse kaasa. No ja siis seletas too preili veel  mitu aega sellest, kuidas tema kõigile jahub sellest mis nende töötajate päevamenüüs on ja et KINDLASTI ei oleks küüslauku kuna seda jama tema ei söö. Sain oma kana, sooviti mulle ilusti kaunist päeva jätku ja nii ma edasi liikusin koos oma perse ja kanaga.

Ma ei ole mingi peen noobel preili, kes siivutuid sõnu ei kasuta ja nina iga asja peale krimpsu tõmbab aga kana söömise isu läks pealt ära küll.

Seega tagasi ema juurde jõudes, tundub et ma olen vereliini pidi edasi pärinud ka tuleräägimullepersestjaküüslaugust-needuse.

Ja üleüldse perse on nii kole sõna..

Hello.

Today I’m going to tell you a story about my visit to our very own Selver. I have to tell you something about my mom first. At the end of the story you´ll understand why.

Those who know my mother know that she has some kind of weird magnet to people who want to tell her everything about their lives and worries. It is actually not a bad thing to have such an ability to listen to others quietly, but if those people are all a bit weird and they can’t control what they say or how much they say, then maybe this ability is not a good thing at all. At the end of the day we all can laugh about it!

So, going back to my story, I went to Selver to buy some lunch. At this time the supermarket was almost empty and I walked straight to the hot food counter. Before I even had a chance to look at the goods, this one dark-haired girl shouted at me” Helloo, what can I get you!”.  I really didn´t had a time to choose yet but then I saw some chicken and it looked kind of edible. What kind of confused me was that there was that chicken but some of it looked different and I asked politely what the difference was. That girl answered me that she didn’t know exactly what the difference was but she thinks one was made with herbs and the other was made with spices. Okay, I chose the spiced one. I stood there and waited my chicken to be bagged up when suddenly this girl started to talk. She talked about chicken should not be made with garlic and she is so fretful about it. In Estonian language the word fretful can be said pretty badly. In English it should be like whiner ass or something. The word ASS was what got me! She is packing my chicken and talking about ASS! Unbelievable. It is Tuesday morning, I feel like having some chicken and ASS comes with it. And this girl just couldn’t stop talking. I heard all about how she is the one, announcing coworkers about what´s in their daily menu and it definitely should not be garlic! Well anyway, I got my chicken and I was wished a good day buy this girl and I moved away from this counter happily with a chicken and an ass.

I really am not that kind of posh lady who doesn´t use sometimes these kind of dirty or immodest words, but my appetite was ruined.

So back to the beginning of my story and to my mom, I think I have inherited with my bloodline this pleasetalkaboutASSandgarlic-curse.

And by the way, ASS is one hideous word..